Archive for July, 2011

Kristy’s Diary – “Roofie”

July 31, 2011

—– IF I WERE A GIRL, MY NAME WOULD BE KRISTY, I WOULD BE HOT, & THIS WOULD BE MY DIARY ——

So the other day I was totally hanging with friends. Me and all my girls were just feeling amazing. These creepy guys were trying to talk to us but they were buying us drinks, so watevs. So I was totally feeling the music (not to mention the DJ was really cute). And that’s how I didn’t notice one of my friends was upset. Kristina came over to me and was like “Kristy, I think I have been roofied!”. I took her drink and tasted it. Trippin’! There was no hint of roofie in there at all. I told her it was just the vodka she was tasting and she was sooo happy. Since they were safe she ended up having 7 more. So slammered! (Woo Woo). Tonight I learned that you should never jump to conclusions.

PERSIAN VERSION of Jersey Shore on Bravo?

July 20, 2011

Most Persian guys DJ at some point.

It appears Ryan Seacrest is actually going through with adding the Persian Jersey Shore to the Bravo lineup. With huge success as a producer for ‘Kardashian’ spinoffs and ‘E! News’ he is now the undisputed super-power of Reality TV. But does he have enough pull to bring one of the world’s oldest super-powers back into the mainstream and get ratings?

After traveling throughout the U.S. and Canada as a standup comedian, I can tell you Persians are an amazing culture but a relatively small and tight knit one in comparison to many others. And while the population is huge in some cities, they aren’t represented in large quantities coast to coast. Part of the success of Jersey Shore is that we have all seen tons of Italian based shows and award winning movies for decades. There are holidays where we pretend to be Mexican for a day in May and Irish in March, but there is no good Persian drinking holiday. I think that would be a better start. Once you give people an excuse to get drunk once a year, preferably on a weekday, your chances of gaining acceptance in America will definitely improve. Or maybe even like a yearly Kabob day or something. If they know how delicious the food is they will be more likely to tune in. Sadly, as of now, this is not the case and if they don’t know much about the culture will they care about the show?

Even more importantly, the Persian community can never agree on anything. If the cast members they choose for this show are ridiculous, you can bet those viewers will be complaining the whole time that “Dese people, dey are not Persian, dey are ANIMALLLLS!” Actually scratch that, no matter who they pick or what they do on the show, about 95% of the Persian population will complain. Hey, at least my family will have something new to argue about at the dinner table. And with limited media to compare this show to, whatever America sees on this full season will be the new and generally accepted stereotypes of Persians everywhere. I think we can all agree no cultures comeback into the mainstream should be based on a Bravo show. That’s just too much responsibility for any one network!

The shows working title is “The Shah’s of Sunset” which sounds like a pretty horrible name since there will be girls on this show and every Shah was a man. See, all we have is a title and the Middleastern women have been put on the back burner right from the start. We’ve been trying to move past that! Okay, I need some help from you, what would some better names be? Make them as funny or realistic as you would like and be sure to post them below…


(for the official Hollywood Reporter Seacrest announcement click here)