Archive for August, 2011

Kristy’s Blog – “Ho’s Before Bros”

August 31, 2011

—– IF I WERE A GIRL, MY NAME WOULD BE KRISTY, I WOULD BE HOT, & THIS WOULD BE MY BLOG ——

So I totally had a date all setup with this guy that I was excited for. I mean not to name drop but he is a DJ at one of the hottest clubs in town. But just as I was getting all ready to go my girls called and said “Kristy, this is a 911”. It turns out Kristina broke up with her man. Total heartbreak. She was crazy about this guy and they had gone out for over 4 weeks. Well, that settled that, I told my date that I could not go with him anymore. He started getting upset with me on the phone sounding like a total guy “Duhh, I thought we had plans, I’ve been driving your way for 35 minutes and I’m almost there” and “Durrrr, what’s your deal?” That’s like a huge red flag. Ladies, any guy that would try to pressure you like that has ‘creepy’ written all over them in PERMANENT marker. Glad to see his true colors on that one. As far as I’m concerned Ho’s before Bros! I went over to Kristina’s and we made it a girl’s night, got a lil tipsy, and mended her broken heart. It turns out she had been dating two other guys on Facebook a few weeks before her jerk of a man broke up with her so she’s gonna be just fine. Woo woo! I learned two things; that guys are jerks for not understanding when your girls are in pain, and nothing lasts forever. Not even being single.

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Kristy’s Blog – “Facebook Creeper”

August 18, 2011


So I randomly saw this guy who was a friend of a friend of a friend on Facebook and told him he was really hot.  But when he didn’t add me right away I was upset.  Nobody does that to Kristy.  I was like “Why don’t you add me” and he was like “I don’t know you.”  So I got his email address and sent him some scandalous pics so he had a way better idea of what I looked like.  Guess what?  He ended up adding me!  Score Bitches.

Now here’s where it gets creepy.  He said he really liked the way I looked in my topless photo and asked when we could meet.  I told him if he’s ever in my town I’d love to.  We exchanged numbers and started texting daily and even talked a few times.  Just yesterday I promised if he ever came to see me he would “Not be disappointed” and added a few lil’ things to keep him interested.  My ladies out there know what I mean.

Well guess what, today he wrote me and said he’s coming into town for work tomorrow and he wants to hang out.   Yikessss, I’m supposed to be going out with my boyfriend tomorrow night…  I told him I can’t and that I’m sick.  He said to at least meet him at a Starbucks to grab coffee and actually talk face to face for once.  I told him “Nope, I’m not that kind of girl.”  Then he got upset with me.  That’s a big red flag.  Any guy that won’t leave a girl alone after she says, “I’m sick” is obviously a total D-BAGGGGGG!  I learned women should avoid not just this guy, but ALL men that have “expectations”.  Double  Ew.

Kristy’s Blog – “Gettin Older”

August 9, 2011

—– IF I WERE A GIRL, MY NAME WOULD BE KRISTY, I WOULD BE HOT, & THIS WOULD BE MY BLOG ——

So last night we totally went out and danced and danced.  It was a blast.  But I noticed today my feet were hurting.  Even worse my back was killing me too.  I tried to think about all the things I did last night but I was too slammered to remember.  Then I realized, when you get older, your body just can’t take the same punishment.  I was sad but my friend Kourtney cheered me up.  She said “Kristy, it’s okay because tonight when we go out we’ll get a bunch of guys to buy us drinks and it’ll numb the pain.”  Now if only there was a way to numb the creepiness of these guys.  Then life would be perfect!  (woo woo!)  I’ve learned to love that I’m maturing,
growing, and getting wiser.

Kristy’s Blog – “Reading”

August 6, 2011

—– IF I WERE A GIRL, MY NAME WOULD BE KRISTY, I WOULD BE HOT, & THIS WOULD BE MY BLOG ——

So a lot of my girls totally don’t read.  My friend Karlee is like “Kristy it’s, soooo boring.”  But actually it’s important.  It let’s you know all kinds of stuff. Reading has taught me sooooo much like when to STOP, when you are allowed to make a U-turn, and even when to not make a U-turn.  It also is the only way to know how many calories are in things.  I even read when I’m not required to.  Like I’ll just buy an US Weekly magazine just for fun.  And let’s be honest, if you don’t want to read you can always look at the pics.  So either way you are covered.  I’ve learned it’s a fun way to totally inform yourself on what’s going on in the world and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Woo Woo!

P.S.  If I wrote a book on guys who are total creepers, I would read that too.

Kristy’s Blog – “Make Me Up Before You Go-Go”

August 3, 2011

—– IF I WERE A GIRL, MY NAME WOULD BE KRISTY, I WOULD BE HOT, & THIS WOULD BE MY BLOG ——

So I was totally getting ready to go out with my friends for a night of drinks and dancing.  Party time!  We were hoping that tonight we would not run into any creepy guys just this once.  My friend Krissy was like “Kristy hurry up biznatch, what’s taking you so long?”  I was putting on my makeup and I just was not looking pretty for some reason.  I almost cancelled then I realized I was making this ugly face in the mirror while putting on my mascara.  As soon as I stopped making that face I was looking great again.  Woo Woo!  I learned sometimes we are pretty we just don’t know it at the time.  They say “beauty comes from within’… but what they don’t tell you is it sometimes from ‘without’ as well.

Kristy’s Blog – “Tall Short Guys”

August 2, 2011

—– IF I WERE A GIRL, MY NAME WOULD BE KRISTY, I WOULD BE HOT, & THIS WOULD BE MY BLOG ——

So I was totally at the airport with my girls ready to go to Vegas and have a blast. There were these creepy guys in the security line behind us but they offered to buy us drinks when we got through the line so watevs. One of the guys hitting on me was totally short. Ew. Hate short guys. Why do they think they can talk to us, right ladies? He was trying everything to talk to me and everything. Then I took off my favorite heels to go through the metal detector. That’s when I realized he actually wasn’t even that short. In fact he was 4 inches taller than me! Woo Woo! Soooo crazy. That’s when I realized you should never judge because creepy short guys might actually be taller than you think.